Dusting off the MAGIC....

Well, in the 25 years of my existence I have come across certain things, certain people- rich, poor, arrogant, patient ..I’ve had three official boyfriends till date – the first one- a fan of heavy metal  with his feet on the ground; second--a one week boyfriend;third, the Magic—whom I’ve hero worshipped. After the standard ‘He’ has set, I don’t know if I can ever fall for anyone again.

 Currently, my heart is in crisis, we broke up 2 nights back—BROKE UP!! I know right!! Why the hell did it happen? Well, I could’nt be patient with him anymore, I wanted attention, more attention. One night I opened up and  BOOOM!! It all ended.

What I’ve discovered in the process is that he never was into me as I was into him. But I cannot hate him either. He is different, a kind I’ve never met before nor will I ever meet. Honestly, I get so jealous when he speaks of his ex whom he fondly refers to as P/ R. I know I should just let it go but my so called inferiority complex engulfs me whole. I can’t just come out of it at times. Honestly, I am proud of this man even though he doesn’t love me back. His sense of ideals are so strong, I look at him like magic. I can’t get angry at him even though I want to hate him. My heart melts everytime I think of him and I mean it (even though he doesn’t believe when I say it).

According to him a relationship should be like a pillow— something to relax on when tired. He may not be the man I’ve expected him to be but trust me, he is the most honest and straight forward guy I’ve met so far (and most practical too). At first I might not agree to the philosophical thoughts he throws at me but eventually I couldn’t not agree to it, I end up saying,’Hmm..you know, you are right’.

Well I’m gonna miss this man a lot! The night we broke up was the only break up suffocation I’ve went through in my life and believe me when I say this, it was painful. I ache till today but I can’t even chain him to me right? I can’t hold on to a person because of my selfish wants. Maybe this is what it feels like to let go of the person you love, to set him free. I smiled as I did that. It is painful yet beautiful. And hence, I dusted off the Magic allowing the glitters to remain though.